Yet another actress decides to get fake lips. When will the madness stop? Girls, fake beestung lips do not make you more sexy. They make you look like your lips got stuck on a car exhaust. Lindsay, girl, maybe this is why you were refused alcohol the other night: you scared the bar owners. You were beautiful because you were natural, freckles and all.

Britney Spear’s new album Blackout has incensed some people, but she’s not taking advantage of it, not promoting it says her record label. They’re giving up on bothering to get her to do any promotion.

What’s going on in the world of entertainers? Owen Wilson attempts suicide, and now Heather Mills - recently estranged wife of Sir Paul McCartney - is saying she’s been driven to the brink. The media have been slagging her over the breakup with Sir Paul.

Okay this, must be a trick: Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson dating. Jessica just doesn’t strike me as his type. He’s funny and intelligent. She’s… well… not. And depending on how the light strikes her, she sometimes looks like a guy. Then again, she’s also looked kind of like Britney Spears in some pics. Maybe she’s one of those shape-changing alien lizards that most of Earth’s ruling class and entertainers are supposedly descended from.

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong? Is this a trick or treat? I didn’t even know she was legal. Is 36-year old Lance like, kinda old for 21-year old Ashley? He’d have been 15 when she was born. On the other hand, I don’t personally think it’s a problem, given they’re both adults now.