Maxim magazine recently declared Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and the City) the Most Unsexy Woman in Hollywood, in their Five Unsexiest Women Alive feature. Parker’s response? It doesn’t bother her because she doesn’t think she’s sexy either.

Christina Aguilera, who recently confirmed her pregnancy, feels that Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan lack self-control. She’s referring specifically to their inability to stay away from drugs and/or alcohol.

April Development, Inc., offers software called Aprilage, which take a picture of someone and ages it. Warner Bros. Extra TV used the software to come up a pic of what Britney Spears will look like in 25 years, if she continues to eat, drink and tan the way she’s been doing. Not a pretty sight.

On the other hand, I find it surprising that she got dumped on for the way she looked at the VMAs a while back. She didn’t look like a rail-thin bone rack of a supermodel - a “style” that I find unattractive. Britney looked like a real woman, with a bit of extra weight. Or maybe it was the black lingerie-like attire that “slimmed” her. At any rate, while I might be amongst the few, I found her to actually look good at the VMAs - even if her performance stunk. A few friends concur.

Brad Garrett - currently on the sitcom Til Death, previously on Everybody Loves Raymond - finalized his divorce from his wife of seven years, Jill Diven. Reasons stated were “irreconcilable differences.”

So far this year, it seems that it’s mostly been young female celebrities such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan that have either spent time behind bars or came close to it. Not to be out done, the guys are catching up.

Shia LaBeouf (Transformers and upcoming Indiana Jones) and R&B singer Trey Songz are the latest celebrities to get arrested or receive a jail sentence.

A possibly intoxicated LeBeouf was arrested on the weekend for refusing to leave a department store, despite a warning from a security guard.

Songz was arrested for disorderly conduct after a shooting on the weekend in Springfield, Mass.

Recently, actor Lane Garrison of Prison Break was sentenced to 40 months in jail for vehicular manslaughter. One of his passengers was killed in Dec 2006, when Garrison - who had a blood alcohol level of over .15 - crashed his SUV.

Looks like a couple of new celebrity brats have dropped. Nancy Grace had twins and Milla Jovovich only looked like she would. Milla, 31 years old, had a daughter, Gabo Anderson, with director fiancé Paul Anderson. Grace, a 48 year old news anchor, had a boy (5 lbs, 1 oz) and a girl (2 lbs, 15 oz) two months before schedule.

Poor Britney, can’t catch a break. After having been in a hit-and-run not long ago, she went and registered for a California driver’s license. She also managed to settle the hit-and-run with the other car’s owner. But she still can’t drive. A on-duty officer’s foot was run over by Britney’s car. The office was trying to help Britney get away from the courthouse and the paparazzi, but Britney doesn’t know the difference between “turn right, turn right” and “turn left, turn left”. Hmmm. Maybe she was thinking of Kim Kardashian. Or how she should be promoting her Blackout album so that she can pay for the $16,000/month that she spends on clothes.

Britney Spears apparently has revealed that she has a lesbian lust for Kim Kardashian - she of the sexy body with and butt bigger than J-Lo. Kim recently appeared in Playboy, and if you search around online, you’ll see some of the pics. Britney said to friends

I really love Kim’s butt, skin and hair. Kim is a real woman. A real horny beast.

No idea if Kim swings that way but Carmen Electra supposedly does. Carmen was on Brit’s list as well.

Egads! Britney Spears is supposedly dropping over a hundred Gs on entertainment. Per month. And $16,000/month on clothes alone. Her total expenditures are nearly $740,000/mth, according to court papers. However, that does include her mortgage and house utilities. But only $6,000/month is spent on child care. Ex-hubby Kevin Federline says spending nearly three times that on childcare, and nearly nothing in comparison on clothes and entertainment. Ah the lives of the rich and stupid. I mean famous.

Heather Mills, ex-model and estranged wife of Beatle Sir Paul McCartney, has been going on and on on TV about the death threats she’s getting and how she’s been driven to the brink of suicide. Do yourself a favor, woman. Please shut up. You’re not Princess Diana, and I’m sure if you shut up, things will settle down. I think it’s all your fault to begin with, but airing it the way you are, with this almost smirk on your face, doesn’t help. There’s something insincere about the way you’re discussing it, but I can’t put my finger on it. I never agree with anything Dr. Phil says, but there’s a first time. Go get some help, and lie low.