How can someone so famous be so screwed up, drifting nowhere without any guidance? Paparazzi standing outside a gas station waiting for Britney Spears were treated to her shouting out that she stole a lighter.

It’s Britney, bitch. No, Britney, you are the bitch. Anyone serious about getting back partial (or full) custody of her kids doesn’t go around stealing lighters - or at least not openly announcing it. Maybe she needs to have a chat with Winona Ryder about what five-finger discounts get you. A hard lesson will do you good.