Bwa ha ha ha ha. Nicole Richie, unbelievably dense co-star of A Simple Life (along with Paris Hilton), and her baby-to-be daddy/ fiance Joel Madden wanted to buy a house in a gated community in Southern California. No go. They were turned down, possibly because of the group of photographers shadowing the couple.

Barely-legal hottie Vanessa Hudgens, star of High School Musical as well as nude photos taken by her boyfriend, was out with her dad. Enter a pack of paparazzi and Vanessa’s dad wigs out, wielding and flinging a water bottle but soaking himself. Well, maybe he thought the photogs would strip her naked?

Popular talk show host Conan O’Brien has been stalked recently by, of all people, a priest. Rev. David Ajemian of Boston has previously been treated for psychological problems. The Reverend’s seminary mentor claims that Ajemian is kind and caring - a sharp contrast to how he’s supposedly been lately.

Oprah has been doing damage control lately, trying to clear up the allegations of abuse in her school in South Africa. Some fingers swiveled towards the now former headmistress L.N. Mzamane, stating she knew about the situation and tried to cover it up. She claims she had no knowledge of abuse and thus there was no cover up on her part.

Hallmark Cards used Paris Hilton’s likeness in some of their greeting cards, including one where they make fun of her. That of course prompted a lawsuit by Paris, which Hallmark tried to have dismissed since, they claim, she’s become a household name. That, their lawyers claim, means she can’t accept the flattering comments then try to silence the criticism. As well, they blamed her for the fact that people make fun of her.

The celebrity babies and pregnancies just don’t seem to be stopping this year. And even the older men (Nick Nolte) are still impregnating their wives. The latest celebrity births are twins, Thomas Boone Quaid and Zoe Grace Quaid, born to Kimberly and Dennis Quaid via a surrogate.

Check out the photo gallery at AOL showing which other celebs are expecting or just delivered. You’ll see that Garcelle Beauvais also gave birth to twins (October).

Britney, Britney, Britney. What do you not understand about improving your chances of getting better custody claims of your children? You learn to drive, you stop boozing, stop flashing your chocha, pay any court-ordered fees, and you do all the drug tests you’re supposed. And have a phone number that the court can reach you at.

Do you need someone to spell it out to you? That means missing 8 out of 14 drug tests is plain bad for your chances. (Also, going through a red light, with your kids in the car is superbad. I know, I know. The bloody paparazzi are forever getting in your way.)

So it’s quite a surprise that the judge cut you a break. You been given way too many breaks. You don’t deserve anymore. But given your new Blackout album is #1 in Europe and other countries, you probably don’t care. Is that what you were celebrating when you dropped $200,000 on a Mercedes SL 65 the other night? Bloody hell, woman. You can’t even drive. Keep up this nonsense and you will have a meltdown.

British police, with crowbars in hand, forcibly raided Amy Winehouse’s home in North London, England, but apparently neither Amy nor hubby Blake were home at the moment of the raid, but some sources claim they were on the property or not far away. Other sources claimed Blake Fielder-Civil was arrested for some involvement in trying to fix a trial with cash bribes. The 24-year old singer has had all manner of problems lately, including drug charges in Norway.

Photo courtesy of Picture Perfect Agency.

Heather Mills, the estranged wife of Sir Paul McCartney, recently lost her PR adviser and has now officially parted ways with her divorce laywer. Mills, a former model before she lost a leg in a car accident, has been shooting off her mouth about her goings with Sir Paul and feeling like she’s on the brink of suicide. The result has been a steady thrashing of her by the British media. So she came to N. America to shoot off some more. Sir Paul is already seeing a new woman - the wife (?!!) of a lawyer and second cousin to Barbara Walters. But despite his trysts, kissing in cars and so on, he’s worried for the safety of his youngest daughter, Beatrice.

A number of celebrities have joined the picket lines in support of their respective show’s writers. Some of the the big names picketing in support of writers include Robin Williams and Julianne Moore, Larry David and Matt Groening, and Eva Longoria. However, Ellen Degeneres has drawn wrath upon herself by bloggers and other media types by being a strikebreaker.