Hollyweirdos are breeding like rabbits this year. In case you’ve been under a rock for a while, the latest celebrities to announce or otherwise indicate they’re pregnant are:

1. Nicolette Sheridan from Desperate Housewives.
2. Jeri Ryan from Shark, and previously as a Borg in a Star Trek series.
3. Posh Spice (reputed), from nothing important - unless you count Spice World (the Spice Girls movie) as being important.
4. Brooke Burke, who’s constructing her fourth child (and still looking incredible).
5. Halle Berry, from Swordfish, X-Men and loads more - though there’s rumors that French Canadian model hubby Gabriel Aubry refuses to move from New York to LA, where Halle wants to raise the baby boy once he’s born.
6. Jennifer Lopez, from many half-assed movies (she should have stuck to being a dancer on In Living Color).
7. Nicole Richie from nothing important, unless you like the mindlessness of A Simple Life.

Celebs who plan to do the horizontal tango in the future, to spawn, include Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eva Longoria (whose name always sounds like Evil Ongoria when it’s spoken on TV).

Nancy Grace, who just had twins, has been hospitalized after giving birth to premature babies - but is in good condition.

Has anyone else had enough of Britney Spears? Please, someone, take her across your knee and spank that pantyless bottom. It’s always something with her -missing court-ordered random drug tests, testing positive for drugs, running over and injuring papparazzi trying to help her, getting liposuction in Las Vegas, teaching Heidi Klum mothering tips (you heard me), driving through red lights with her kids in the car (and the court-appointed monitor, too). Is it any surprise that non-talent ex-husband Kevin Federline wants another emergency court hearing?

John Stamos (ER) - aka former Mr. Rebecca Romijn - apparently got into some sort of scuffle in the air, while flying. A female passenger attacked his hand repeatedly. This was supposedly because she took his seat when he went to the washroom and didn’t want to give it up when he returned. The FBI was at LAX airport to greet her.

While at the wedding of a cousin in the Barbados in late October, luscious poptart Rihanna was apparently asked to leave. Reason: Rihanna’s diva attitude and boob display. Hmm. Wondering if Rihanna grabbed some girls’ boobs too. [Note: picture is not representative of the wedding.]

Photo courtesy of Picture Perfect Agency.

Linsday Lohan just started her community service on Tuesday, and will spend 10 days as part of two - count’em, two - DUI convictions from August. It’s either the 10 days in community service or 2 days in jail. I can think of a few more young female celebs who need to do the same.

Have a look at Demi Moore’s bikini pictures and then ask yourself if Rumer Willis - who’ll be Miss Golden Globe 2008 - is really her daughter or an eggplant-headed alien. The unfortunate girl not only got a stupid name courtesy of dad but also his chin - which looks great on him. Enuff said.

If Jessica Simpson is really using Owen Wilson for publicity, then that’s just terrible. The two just don’t seem to belong together, and if his recent suicide attempt was real (some say it was a publicity stunt), then he needs real friends. I’m not a fan of Jessica, but I’d never thought of her as this shallow. On the other hand, Owen’s been spotted in New York with model Le Call.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m not the only who thinks Paris Hilton is untalented. After being asked to audition for a Broadway version of Chicago, the producers decided to pass on her. Apparently, she just can’t move. Or maybe they got a look at her nasty lipstick-stained teeth? When will Paris realize she’s not all that?

Heath and Kate, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Okay, sitting in a bar. Will Kate Hudson be the next celebrity to get pregnant? No word on that. For now, Kate and Heath are just kissing.

Marilyn Manson’s current girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, says she’s not bisexual, but like Pink she likes to kiss girls. No word if she grabs other girls’ boobs like Rihanna does, but it seems that liking girls is a prerequisite of being Manson’s girlfriend.